On any given day, no matter my mood or the time of year, I can honestly say I have no trouble finding something for which to give thanks. It’s nice that there is a national holiday dedicated to the appreciation of bounty every year, but I think that most people are happy to extend their thankfulness beyond a turkey dinner with stuffing and pie.
It’s not just the food and the football that make Thanksgiving a special day. It is the idea of stopping our frantic lives for a moment and finding something for which we are grateful. Things like good health and safe travel of family and friends are a theme that most of us are fortunate to be able to appreciate.
In searching for a column topic that would be relevant through the months of December and January, I kept coming back to the concept of gratitude. It is no secret among my friends, family and regular readers of this column that I am a recovering alcoholic.
See: http://www.workingwaterfront.com/articles/My-Life-on-a-Small-Island/14799/.
In the meetings I attend, the topic of gratitude comes up fairly often. Making a gratitude list is a default technique for dealing with just about any part of life. It puts one into the present moment of realizing strengths and benefits, allowing one the opportunity to be more centered and able to face whatever provocation in a calmer more optimistic way.
On a bad day, my gratitude list always begins with, “I’m grateful I don’t have a sharp stick in my eye.” I know it sounds dire, but it works. (Unless you actually have a sharp stick in your eye in which case you might have to be grateful not to have sticks in both eyes.)
But gratitude usually comes to me in more subtle, island-specific ways. After a long trip away, with much more baggage than I planned to bring home, I always close my eyes and say, “Thank you” when I see that the tide is high and the ramp to the float, and thus the boat, provides a level passage. No knee-wrenching descent carrying heavy luggage down a steep incline is something for which to be grateful.
When the island floats are put away for the winter, I am grateful for passengers who form a chain, lining the steps from the boat to the dock, passing groceries hand to hand until everyone’s packages are off the boat at the end of a long day.
I am grateful for our active fire department with a brand new truck and volunteers who willingly give up their own working time to train on how to use it. My gratitude extends to all of the islanders who have put in many hours of their own to become EMTs and first responders.
When people used to ask what we did without any doctors living on our islands, the response was usually a shrug and a comment about getting the old stretcher from the fire house to get someone off the island as quickly as possible. Now, anyone can dial 911 in an island emergency and it’s likely that two or more familiar faces will drop whatever they are doing to show up with the training to stabilize the situation before transportation off the island. I’m grateful for that kind of security.
I am grateful for having two boating companies serve our islands. I may balk at the limited winter boat schedule when it goes into effect in October, but I also know there are other islands that do not have access to daily service. I am grateful for the spectacular sky and sunsets that can be seen from the 3:30 p.m. mailboat at this time of year. I am grateful for our island postmasters who often go out of their way to make sure we can get our mail when we have been off island for the day and can’t get to the post office.
I am grateful for our town clerk, who called me up the day before I left for a long trip to remind me my car on the mainland needed to be re-registered. I’m grateful for high speed Internet on the islands that gives us access to the rest of the world when we want it, while still ensconced in a quiet, remote spot.
I could go on and on. A gratitude list is easy and compelling. If you’ve never made one I urge you to try it and see how you feel afterwards.
I asked a good friend, recently, what she found to be grateful for after so many summers spent on Little Cranberry Island. She said she was grateful that the size of the community and the people in it made the island a very forgiving place.
I had expected to hear something about being on the water, peace and quiet, and beauty. I liked her answer so much more. Misunderstanding, blaming, hurt feelings and righteous indignation are present anywhere in the world, so of course they occur here too. What else occurs is that it is almost impossible to avoid seeing each other on the boats, in the post offices or out on walks. It uses up way more energy to carry a grudge than it does to accept someone for who they are.
Accepting a situation doesn’t mean you have to like it, but it really helps you move on in life. I am so grateful to live in a place where everyone seems to accept each other (sooner or later), and I believe in a crisis we would rally our support for each other despite our differences because this is where we all really want to be.
May your holidays be filled with gratitude, acceptance and forgiveness that extend indefinitely into the new year.
Barbara Fernald lives on Islesford (Little Cranberry Island).